We Cannot Be Friends

I think a lot of us get to the point where we are pushed and pushed to the point where we become done with something.

Tonight was that night with the guy formerly known as BCE.

Do you every feel like someone actually never gave you a fair chance or maybe stayed around dating you out of convenience? I think both apply here. Throughout the time of our dating, he would go from hot to cold, and I never knew what to expect. One day he would be super cute about texting me with funny emojis and lots of flirting and the next it was radio silence. Sure, people get busy at work. I get that. But I think there was a lot more to it than just that.

He occupied a lot of my time and wanted to see me a lot for someone I had just met. But I was game because I liked him and he was very intriguing. But the following week, he’d suddenly keep me at an arm’s length and when asked would say I was crazy and he had a lot of work stuff to deal with.

I never knew what to think. And in the end, he tried to convince me that I was very unclear about how I felt. He also said I was very awkward. I know I can be awkward, but when I have feelings for someone, I don’t have a hard time expressing myself.

I ended things and immediately regretted it. In fact, we kept seeing one another complete with sleepovers and having sex. It was almost like me ending things brought us closer together.

Two weeks ago I flat out told him I wanted to give it another try and he didn’t have a response until he later sent me an email.

The email crushed my soul.

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Why was I good enough to spend all of that time with him cooking him dinner, watching TV shows for hours, going to the shooting range, helping him pack all of his stuff, move his stuff when no one else would etc.? But yet I wasn’t even worthy of dating anymore?

Earlier that day he told me he had met someone for coffee for a date that he met online. He said she was into all of his goofy things and dorky like him, but maybe too dorky.

Fast forward to today. We’ve been doing good being friends. Chatting and he even came and rescued dangerous situation with a guy from Tinder. But he went out with the girl last night and then they were to go hiking. I texted have fun hiking, be safe because it’s going to rain. We had some small talk and then he texted later after their 3rd date ended. He said she spent the night but they didn’t have sex.

Later this evening I was scanning Instagram and there is was… a photo on his account of him and her on the mountain. We went to some pretty incredible places while we were together and nice meals. Sure, he snapped pics of the amazing food, but never us together. I was fucking pissed. I was over it and ready to let him know exactly how I felt. I knew that what I was about to text wouldn’t be something I could ever take back or and that we’d never be friends again.

But after all we talked about and how I admitted I still had feelings for him earlier what he did was a total dick move. It was like he was throwing this chick in my face. It just solidified the fact that I never mattered. I was a convenient piece of ass that occupied his time until he found another victim. When he wanted a fucking bundt cake and the place was closing in 10-minutes, I somehow made it happen. And maybe that’s his thing.

So what did I send before I blocked him on my phone and on all social media accounts?

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But this was really the icing on the cake. A few weeks ago he shared a fantasy of his with me. Normally I wouldn’t divulge such details, but he’s a using ass hat.

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I wonder how this girl is going to feel about the $500 liberator chair he has in his room. It’s so big, you can’t exactly hide it. I wonder if he too will tell her it’s never been used too?

What’s that saying? Go big, or go home! Fuck him! I am sure this new girl will get the same wonderful treatment I did. He will spend weeks and weeks with her fucking her and getting her to jump through hoops until he finally confesses that he isn’t that into her either. Maybe he’s just too into himself? But you what they say, NMP baby! Not my problem, anymore!

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