Look, I am not about to pretend that I am some goody-goody and that I’ve never had a friend with benefits. Truth be told, I have quite a few men’s numbers on my phone if I really wanted to “dial a dick” I could. But, not all men or men that I have dated or slept with can fall into the FWB category.
I’ve had all types of friends with benefits. The guy who I hooked up with that left right after. A guy who I talked to all the time and he cared for me after I got a boob job that I also happened to have sex with on occasion. The guy that would take me out all night and pay for everything and be more chivalrous than most guys I’ve been with but was only a fuck buddy! I remember calling him after things ended with a guy I was dating and I was a mess. He came over and picked my crying ass off the floor of my apartment and let me know it would be ok.
If you’ve been keeping up with my dating status, you know I am not seeing anyone currently. I got drunk and sent some texts and ended it. I still feel bad about it, but at least now I know where I really stood with said guy. The sex with him was good, but somehow after the dating ended it was on a whole new level. I can think about it and get all hot and bothered. Why would I stop getting that kind of sex if the option to be fuck buddies was on the table?
The answer right off the top of my head would be that there are just some guys you can fuck with no feelings and other you just cannot. The guy I spoke of above who took me out on these incredible dates but was just a fuck buddy, I could cuddle with him and share my deepest secrets, but I don’t have feelings for him like that. He’s still a great guy in his own way, but we’d never work out. And maybe it’s also that I never totally let myself be vulnerable with him. I didn’t 100% put myself out there and that’s why I can sleep with him and not have some sort of attachment.
You can’t go from having sex with someone and having feelings and cuddling with that person and having feelings to just not. Or maybe some people can. I am not that girl. If my vagina were the one making the choice, I’d be all in for being fuck buddies, but my head and heart just aren’t down.
You need to figure out what’s in it for you? Obviously orgasms, I’d hope. But would entering in an FWB situation with this person almost create a fauxlationship and distract you from what you want and deserve? I think that’s the most important question. Any relationship, even an FWBship takes some time and work.
Elite Daily created the 10 commandments of friends with benefits. I have broken a lot of these and maybe that’s why I am very choosey with who I’d place in the FWB category.
Check them out here.