I am the Queen of ignoring that nagging feeling that something isn’t right with someone deep in my stomach.

I cannot even tell you how many times I have done it and most recently I did it yet again. I fucking hate online dating. It’s such bull shit. Or maybe it’s my choice in men that is shitty. At the end of January, I started talking to a guy from POF, and we chatted on there, moved to texting, and even video chatted while I was away on a work trip. He seemed cool as shit and like he had his life together. He also was physically the type of guy I liked.

We met and hit it off, and everything seemed cool. We have seen each other a whole bunch of times, and he’s the guy that gave me the toothbrush. But see there’s always been this off feeling I had about him. Like I shouldn’t let myself feel anything for him because he may or may not be a player.

But when you spend a bunch of time with someone, sometimes you can’t help catching feelings. This guy has a great way of making a girl feel really special and then not so special at the same time. But I dismissed my gut feeling of being paranoid of getting hurt and just trying to find something wrong with him.

He came over Monday, and we talked, drank, hooked up, cuddled… it seemed awesome. But as the week went on he was disappearing more and more. While he was at my place Monday, I asked him if I could cook for him. He agreed, and I was excited. I have cooked for just a few guys with the last being the one I was married to for just over three years. Today I messaged him to see if we were still on for tomorrow and he basically said sorry I double booked and can’t, but we can “hang out” tonight.

Ugh!! Seriously dude. Thanks for throwing me a bone and offering me some time tonight, but no thanks. The worst part of this whole scenario is that I allowed myself to be so vulnerable. I also asked him multiple times if he had met someone else or is pursuing anyone else and he would say no. I think he was clearly lying to me.

So what did I learn with BHTREM…

1. If you think they are fucking or trying to fuck other people… you are probably right.
2. If something is telling you that you should be cautious this person may be playing you, listen.
3. Don’t catch feelings for people you meet online and don’t be vulnerable.
4. Players can make you feel special. They can be gentlemen and they can talk to you about their childhood and life and goals, but in the end it’s all for a piece of ass and nothing more!

As I said to him in a text this morning, “no worries, it is what it is!” Lesson learned!