He Clearly Wanted An InstaFamily

What’s a great way to freak out a still relatively newly single woman that has zero kids? Ask her to come to brunch with your parents and child on the second date…

I wish that was just some hypothetical scenario, but sadly that was the shit show that caused me to have a massive panic attack last night.

I went out with this guy about two and a half weeks ago. We had a drink, dinner, and went to the Charlotte Hornets Game. He was nice and asked me to go out again before the first date ever ended! I mean that is awesome right?

I thought he was a good man and maybe if I gave him another chance I could warm up to him, but that was totally not the case. We made plans earlier in the week or even late last week to get together and have dinner and do this paint thing. He offered to come pick me up, but the restaurant and paint place were closer to him, so I opted to drive myself. THANK GOD I did!

As we get seated at the restaurant, he asks me if I’d like to go to brunch with his parents and 8-year-old daughter on Sunday… Holy shit, someone get me more alcohol. Actually, I had half of a hard cider because I got the feeling that this wasn’t going to go well. Strike one!

I had a tank top on with a cardigan sweater on over it. I wasn’t putting my tits all out there, but he made a comment about my necklace and followed it up with something about not looking at my boobs. Dude, you clearly were. And again, they were under wraps and not full out on display. Strike 2!

After dinner, we had time to burn so we walked around the downtown area a bit. My body language was completely closed off. I was holding my purse on my right shoulder, and my right hand was holding the strap, and my left hand was across my chest holding onto the strap too. I don’t think it gets any more closed off than that right? We walk to his car because he has stuff for me. He bought me flowers again, and there was a gift bag complete with the tissue paper sticking out of the top! It has a bottle of wine in it and a microphone for my podcast. Now I knew he was going to give me that because he told me he had it the day after we first met. It was just so over the top and not 2nd date appropriate at all.

I got into my car and he into his to drive on to the painting activity, and I flipped out. I had a full-on panic attack, and if I still had Xanax, I would have needed one. I knew I could not go on to spend two or so more hours feeling this uncomfortable. I called him and told him I didn’t know if I ate something that didn’t agree with me or maybe an allergic reaction and said I had to go home. I made sure to describe what would probably happen once I found the closest bathroom because I had zero fucks to give at this point. The hope was to maybe completely turn him off from me and make him run away.

I said it yesterday, and I am saying it again, what the fuck is my problem? Guys either just want to have sex with me, or they are trying to wife me up and create an Insta-fucking-family? Where is the happy medium because that is what I really need.

I am still off of online dating. I am not unhiding my profiles for the foreseeable future because at this point I am burned the fuck out. I tried my hand at it for just over 30 days, and it was an experience, to say the least.

Am I a total asshole? I want to be treated well, but when someone does this shit it freaks me the fuck out. When someone makes it clear that they are into me and would want to only date me, I lose my shit. But if the guy is kind of Mr. Mixed Signals, well I think he’s awesome.

Maybe it’s not them, it’s me…

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