I Hate Rules, But Need To Implement Some Now

Rules suck. I have never been that person that follows every single rule because that makes life super fucking boring. But this whole dating thing is still so new to me that I think I need to set some rules for at least right now.

Dating without rules can be fun, but I think it could also get you one step closer to getting an STD or racking up partners pretty quickly. I promise you, I am not one of those people to slut shame other women. I am all for a woman finding a guy she may or may not like and getting some orgasms from him. Nothing wrong with that at all. BUT… ultimately that’s not all I want.

If I wanted to just bang it out, I have plenty of guys from back before I was married that I could call and they’d gladly give me a hand or dick.

So here are a few rules I have come up with:

  1. It’s not a date unless we share a meal together. And breakfast the morning after we got drunk and hooked up doesn’t count.
  2. If you want to see me again, make some plans for a few days from now. But asking me to “hang out” or me asking the guy to “hang out” after 9pm only means it’s going to be a booty call.
  3. Rule number 2 doesn’t apply if rule number 1 has been met.
  4. Texting is great and super convenient when we are both busy. But I’m an old school chick and will need to have some phone conversations.
  5. When asking me out, don’t do it via text. See rule number 4.
  6. I will not let this horse shit, game playing junk that is online dating turn me into exactly what I hate about these sites/apps, a player!
  7. If I make an attempt to see you three times and you’re too busy, it’s like baseball, three strikes and you’re out.

Life is too short to waste time with someone who doesn’t really want to spend time with you for the right reasons.

Do these seem completely absurd?  Like I said, I am not good with following rules, but I am going to try my damnedest because I deserve a nice, respectful guy!

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