“Can I Buy Some Drugs From You?”

Ok, just follow along with me here. I did skip date # 1 and date # 2 with a guy we will just call Canada. But the shit I experienced on Monday night is far more mind blowing.

I realize you’ve never seen me because I keep my self incognito. But I assure you , I do not look like I’d be selling any fucking kind of drug. After things with Canada seemed to have cooled down, I decided to explore more of the shitty options on plenty of fish.

As a woman on a dating site, you get inundated with hellos, hi’s, offers, and conversation starters. At first nothing seemed abnormal about POF guy #2 who we can call Strung the fuck out. He worked in marketing, was fairly new to town, was decent at punctuation, and didn’t seem like he’d chop me up and bury my body.

We met at a bar I had heard about but had yet to try. I got there before him and he texted me to ask me to order him a BPR? He quickly texted back to clarify that he meant a PBR…

I don’t think I’ve had a PBR since a gross fraternity party many moons ago. He’s thirty-fucking-six so why would be want to drink such a shitty beer? So I got him and myself one because I figured when in Rome…

He arrived. Looked like his photo, but seemed very tired. He had a raspy voice and at first I didn’t think anything abnormal of it. But maybe five minutes after sitting down at the table with me and telling me I looked nice he asked  if I smoked weed? Again, kind of a random question. I explained I didn’t and the conversation moved on.

His personality was that of a high Justin Long character in the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. BTW, if you are single and struggling to figure what guys want you need to see this fucking movie. It’s eye opening and very insightful. But Strung the Fuck Out seemed to have all this knowledge about POF and how it works. And what guys really when when their profiles says x,y, and z.

We went out onto the heated patio and sat by a fire pit. This may be the only highlight on the date. Oh and maybe that I didn’t get rapped and drugged. He asked me to come hang at his house and have a drink. I agreed, but only because he knew a few people that I knew as well. As I was driving, I just got this weird feeling that I should be going to this maybe stoner guy’s house.

Once we arrived I called him and told him I had to go deal with a work website issue. He asked if I could just come in for ten minutes. I said I really had to go. And that’s when he asked me if he could buy some drugs from me…

I don’t the anyone has ever asked to buy drugs from me. I would be the worst drug dealer ever, let’s be honest, because I am slightly paranoid. Needless to say I am glad I decided to cut and run because nothing good was going to come out of that fucked up meeting.

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